viernes, marzo 17, 2006

The biggest change since I was born.

Few moments in life can actually change your path. People usually talk about special moments they enjoyed living or having, but nothing is compared in this life than to give life. Last Wednesday I went with my girlfriend to the doctor, only to confirm our suspected desire come true: the conception of my first son.

She was already lying at the cold flat bed at the doctor's office, when I was called in. I went to support her. But in reality we were both nervous to know. We both wanted it to be true, that we were truly afraid of being dissapointed. But we were not. After waiting for some time the doctor came in. She immediately grabbed the ultrasound gadget ready to find life. The screen was turned on. Blurry lines everywhere, unreadable to the untrained eyes. But immediately, while she was searching over her belly, the baby was found. In the midst of erratic curved lines was my first baby. There he or she was, small and cuddled inside of what seems to be a black bubble. We saw his head, his body, his legs and tail. There was my son, or daughter, I could not know since he or she is still 10 weeks and 6 days (10 weeks and 4 days on Wednesday). It was really surreal! But the most inspiring part was yet to come. After the doctor was looking around, we were finally able to see his or her heart. As a star in the heavens, the heart of my baby shone, sparkling with life. The tiny heart was pumping, fast and unstoppable. I was amazed of the rate to which the small heart was beating.

Both his or her mother and me are so happy to have seen the images in the ultrasound, which after printing them we keeping them so dearly. He still has a long time to continue growing inside her mother's belly, until he is finally born. But still, I know my baby is alive, still small. My baby is supposed to be arriving to this world either by the end of September 2006 or early October. I can not stop thinking what will he or she look like, or what tastes will he or she has? After seeing him for the first time last Wednesday March 15, 2006, I can not imagine him in the future. I hope I will not dissapoint my baby. I am fearful to be a bad parent, to not be able to bring all the good things I wish for my baby. I wished for him, I prayed for him, and now life has granted me the greatest opportunity of all, to be a father.

This world has many terrible things, and mankind has erred in many ways. But there is hope, and I want my baby to see that. This planet still has beauty, in people and places, in ideas and feelings. I want to share that with my baby. But above all, I will do everything possible so that my baby can have everything that I never grasped.

I love you, even if your are still unborn. And if you ever read this in the future, I want you to know that I loved you above many of the mundane things, and that you were a product of the great love your mother and I have. Your mother and me can be different in so many ways, but we fought against numerous adversities to remain together, lovingly. From that courage of love, from that passion to be together, you existed. You are the result of an everlasting love.